Hold that thought while we go slaughter some more monks

http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/china_cnn_dc;_ylt=AlE7wJOVtT6.Uxt_f43XrLOs0NUE

China demands CNN apology for "goons" comment

BEIJING (Reuters) - China on Tuesday demanded that television news channel CNN apologize after one of its commentators said the Chinese were "goons" and that their products were "junk." What, China’s pissed that CNN actually reported something accurately for a change?

Jack Cafferty made the comments earlier this month on CNN's political program, The Situation Room. China would have responded sooner, but they were too busy beating the shit out of the Tibetan monks before the Olympic torch showed up.

"We are shocked at and strongly condemn the evil attack by the CNN anchor on the Chinese people," Chinese Foreign Ministry spokeswoman Jiang Yu told a regular news conference. “Because, you know, that’s what we do. We don’t need no stink’n yellow dog foreign scum beating up on our own people, thank you very much.”

"Cafferty used the microphone in his hand (which is always better for reporting than when he has his head up his ass) to slander China and the Chinese people, and seriously violated reporting ethics." First of all, we’ll blame translation difficulties for the Chinese use of the oxymoron “reporting ethics”. Secondly, how do the Chinese know for sure that Cafferty hasn’t been beaten up by some Chinese thugs using broken toys covered in lead based paint?

Cafferty said the United States imported Chinese-made "junk with the lead paint on them and the poisoned pet food," adding: "They're basically the same bunch of goons and thugs they've been for the last 50 years," according to a copy of his comments carried on YouTube. But they still look marvelous after all these years!

China came under international scrutiny following a series of food and product health scares last year. It says the vast majority of its products are safe and has accused Western media of over-hyping the problem. “First it was MSG, now lead based paint and dog food with poison no good. Is there no pleasing the pale faced devil?!”

"We solemnly demand that CNN and Cafferty retract their evil words and apologize to the whole Chinese people," Jiang added. First of all, CNN needs to apologize to the citizens of the United States for all of the jaded and slanted “news” reporting they have been passing off on us for the last few years. After that, once the Chinese free Tibet, leave Taiwan alone and kiss our asses, we’ll see what we can have CNN do for them.