As per the Company’s SOX policy labeled as “Hot Auditor”, I am dutifully fulfilling my obligations to notify the male staff at XYZ Office that there is a somewhat attractive female on the property (AFOP) at this time. I am also required to request that you do not scare said female with overtly blatant viewing tactics and to maintain your drive-by viewing to a maximum of once per hour.
This auditor should be on site today and tomorrow so please adjust your schedules accordingly. She is located in the conference room on the NE corner of the building.
As luck would have it, Ray is not in the office today. This presents the somewhat truthful opportunity for you to poke your head in and ask “have you seen Ray?” to maximize your viewing pleasure.
Typically during AFOP situations, male employees are affected by heavy breathing and significant perspiration. It is recommended that you calm your nerves and seek medical attention prior to your drive by viewing, if affected. Also, any comments along the lines of “Hey Baby, wanna see my trash?” will result in an immediate suspension from the AFOP notification list.
Good luck, God speed and may the force be with you.
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