During their visit, they told me that during a spasm of cost cutting, Corporate IT took away all of the desktop printers that were scattered around in the office, and forced everyone to print to three central machines.
There’s 60 people in our corporate office. In order to save money on toner, some idiot thought it was more efficient to make everyone get up and walk to some central printing station, than to have 20 printers scattered around the office that you have to purchase toner for.
They also pulled the printers for our COO, CFO, US President and corporate counsel. I’d like to see the cost benefit analysis for that one, personally.
In any event, back to the story. I get along well with the auditors. We have everything organized for them when they arrive, we take them to lunch & dinner and we actually treat them like humans.
So after they left, I sent them this e-mail:
Hey Guys:
It was great having you up here.
Not to influence the outcome of the audit, but let’s just say that if the audit report is “favorable”, a certain something (see attached), could “show up” at your desk, with some back-door IT support to get it hooked up.
Just saying, you know? Just, ah, discussing “hypothetical scenarios” and all that.
Mike
It’s a sad, sad day when the target of your audit isn’t trying to bribe you with sex, booze, money or drugs, but instead with desktop printers. What has this mad world come to?
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